Never Surrender to Sorrow

In the heart of the historical books of II Samuel 10 and I Chronicles 19, there is perhaps an overlooked story God recorded twice. King Nahash of the Ammonites had died, and his son Hanun reigned in his stead. No doubt, the void created by this tragedy left mourning, confusion, and raw emotions in its wake, as deaths often do, in both the kingdom as well as in the life of Hanun personally. As is common during tumultuous times, Hanun could not see clearly enough to make good decisions. He compounded his sorrows and troubles during his time of grief by making some fateful decisions that adversely affected himself and others.

He allowed himself to be influenced by the wrong people.

And the princes of the children of Ammon said unto Hanun their lord, Thinkest thou that David doth honour thy father, that he hath sent comforters unto thee? hath not David rather sent his servants unto thee, to search the city, and to spy it out, and to overthrow it? – II Samuel 10:3

The heads of the influential families of Ammon came to King Hanun and told him, “David isn’t your friend! He is trying to benefit himself. He is trying to take what you have and use it for his own enrichment.” These people had no proof of their accusations; and perhaps, as leaders of the families of Ammon, they were projecting their own motives onto David. Nonetheless, Hanun failed to consider David and his father’s prior interactions and believed these people instead. It could have been a direct result of Hanun trying to cope with the sorrow, disappointment, confusion, and grief he was experiencing that made him an easier target for these discord sowers.

He failed to realize that his grief, uncertainty, and confusion had distorted his perception.

Wherefore Hanun took David’s servants, and shaved off the one half of their beards, and cut off their garments in the middle, even to their buttocks, and sent them away. When they told it unto David, he sent to meet them, because the men were greatly ashamed: and the king said, Tarry at Jericho until your beards be grown, and then return. – II Samuel 10:4-5

The Bible explains that Nahash bestowed kindness to David in his life; and David, upon hearing of Nahash’s death, desired to reciprocate that kindness to the son of his friend. Hanun perceived this as David having an ulterior motive, being self-benefiting, and posing a direct threat to him and those over which he ruled and bore responsibility to protect. Consequently, he reacted to David’s attempt to help and send comforters to him by scorning and shaming them.

He refused to humble himself.

And when the children of Ammon saw that they had made themselves odious to David, Hanun and the children of Ammon sent a thousand talents of silver to hire them chariots and horsemen out of Mesopotamia, and out of Syriamaachah, and out of Zobah. So they hired thirty and two thousand chariots, and the king of Maachah and his people; who came and pitched before Medeba. And the children of Ammon gathered themselves together from their cities, and came to battle. – I Chronicles 19:6-7

Everyone makes mistakes. Especially in times of intense emotion, exhaustion, or hysteria, people can be prone to making rash decisions or saying something regrettable. Unfortunately, when Hanun saw how ill-received his actions were, he did not repent or turn from his mistake. Instead, he “doubled down” on his position. He may have used the sorrow and confusion he was experiencing as an excuse for his actions. There certainly have been times in my own life when I have been confronted with not having the whole story or not possessing the right perspective. I even have made a wrong decision and have been sorely tempted, for the sake of self-preservation, to stand my ground in my error. This is precisely what Hanun did.

He ruined a friendship.

And when David heard of it, he sent Joab, and all the host of the mighty men. – II Samuel 10:7

Friendship is “a noble and virtuous attachment, springing from a pure source, a respect for worth or amiable qualities.” It is hard to be loyal and to be a friend; it is easy to be critical and to look for reasons to justify not being a friend. David did not attack Hanun but rather responded the opposite way. David was willing to overlook the personal insult of Hanun’s scorning, but insults were not enough for Hanun. Once Hanun lifted his hand against David, there was not much David could do but to defend the people, his friends whom God had put under his care.

He ruined his testimony, tainted working relationships, and caused people’s lives to be destroyed.

And when the children of Ammon saw that the Syrians were fled, they likewise fled before Abishai his brother, and entered into the city. Then Joab came to Jerusalem…But the Syrians fled before Israel; and David slew of the Syrians seven thousand men which fought in chariots, and forty thousand footmen, and killed Shophach the captain of the host. And when the servants of Hadarezer saw that they were put to the worse before Israel, they made peace with David, and became his servants: neither would the Syrians help the children of Ammon any more. – I Chronicles 19:15, 18-19

Hanun hired people to assist him in his rally against David. David did not leave the place where God had put him, but Hanun did. David did not first recruit soldiers against Hanun, but Hanun initiated the attack against David. Hanun acted rashly based on his raw emotions, others’ wrong advice, and eventually his pride. He refused to admit he made a mistake, even though he was in a vulnerable state when he made it.

Hanun did not simply ruin his friendship with the God-appointed king David; he also caused people to die and made himself untrustworthy in the eyes of those with whom he had professional and working relationships. Sadly, by all evidence available, Hanun had no reason to be upset with David or act in the way that he did. It is likely that his confusion, grief, and eventual pride left him vulnerable to making some terrible, irreversible, and generationally consequential mistakes.

• • • • •

In our lives, we are sure to encounter times when we do not know what to do because our vision is clouded by immense sorrow. In these times, we can learn from the devastating mistakes of Hanun. We must be careful to whom we give an ear. We should be slow to make decisions. We must be sure to trust the authority God has given us. Let us always remember that God is thinking …thoughts of peace, and not of evil… toward us.

And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you. And in that day ye shall ask me nothing. Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, he will give it you. – John 16:22-23

by Bethany French

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