Dr. Jack Hyles said, “Character is more important than talent. Character will seek talent while, often times, talent will flee character.” We can all agree that our society, for a myriad of reasons, has a massive absence of character. Employers struggle to find employees who will show up for work on time, who will not call out of work for every little reason, and who will work hard while on the job. Churches are in constant need of laypeople who can be faithful and consistent while working in their ministries. God is looking for Christians with character who mean what they say and will keep their commitments to others and to Him.
Most men will proclaim every one his own goodness: but a faithful man who can find? – Proverbs 20:6
This absence of character can almost always be traced back to the home. Many parents are failing to instill character in their children, thinking that their children will just find it on their own or that they can teach their children “later.” While there are some small exceptions to this rule, from my observations in more than thirty years in ministry-related work, most young people’s character is set by the time they are eighteen to twenty years of age. According to the Bible, our children’s character matters now!
Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right. – Proverbs 20:11
Waiting until “later” to teach children character is waiting until it is too late! Without the parents being conscious of the responsibility to teach character and being deliberately proactive to do so consistently, children will enter adulthood missing the vital piece needed for success in life and in usefulness to God. I have encountered young adults who were raised in Christian homes who cannot hold a job, make excuses why they cannot pay their bills, rarely or never show up for soulwinning, and will not commit to helping in the ministries of the church. Often, these adults who lack character struggle in friendships and marriages due to a poor work ethic and a lack of personal character.
How do we teach our children character? Well, it certainly takes us having character so that we can instill it into our children. Teaching character is not always easy or enjoyable, but as parents, IT IS OUR JOB. It is not the job of the youth director, the school teachers, the pastor, or anyone else. It is the parents’ job to teach character.
The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him. – Proverbs 20:7
One of my Bible college teachers, Mrs. Marlene Evans, taught many character lessons from her classroom lectern to us. Of the many lessons I heard, one quote comes back to me often as I raise my children. She said, “It is the father’s job to teach the children the Bible. It is the mother’s job to teach them to work.” Now, I know in many instances that these lines can blur, and that can be a good thing. As mothers, we should be putting the Bible in front of our children constantly. Likewise, a young son needs to work alongside his father (yard work, fixing the car, repairs around the house, etc.) to see how a man is supposed to work and to provide for his family. However, we—the moms—are RESPONSIBLE to make sure our children are taught the character to work.
This means WE must work in order for them to learn to work! They should see us working hard and keeping our commitments. We should be busy in helping at church so they can see what kind of church member they should be one day. We should be helping to provide for the family in the ways God has made for us, whether in the home or at our jobs.
My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck. – Proverbs 1:8-9
Many years ago before my dad went into the ministry full time, his job was to be the head of maintenance at a commercial photo lab. This meant that my mom did not need to work to provide for the family. She was able to stay home during those years and homeschool us. However, she knew that, in addition to learning traditional school subjects, her children needed to see how to be industrious and how to make a way for themselves.
In the mid-1980s, recycling had not gone mainstream, although many people still sorted out their recyclables and bagged them separately for the trash truck. At that time, recycling was a very lucrative way to make money. Once a week on trash day, Mom, my brother, and I would get up before dawn and drive through nearby neighborhoods, collecting stacks of newspapers and bags of aluminum cans from the curbs where the garbage sat, waiting for collection. We would load our van once a month and take all those cans and newspapers to the recycle center. In less than a year, we had earned enough to pay for a SeaWorld vacation for our whole family!
This took much work on my mom’s part, but the character my brother and I attained was priceless. There were many other “jobs” we had through the years in which my mom worked alongside us: delivering newspapers, delivering phonebooks, etc. I attribute my strong work ethic and entrepreneurial mindset to all those laborious days my mom spent, surreptitiously teaching her children the character to be consistent, goal-oriented workers.
These days, I am always finding ways to teach my children to work, for I know that their futures depend on strong personal character. As for myself, I am careful to be consistent and to keep my commitment to church ministries because my children are watching, and they are learning from my walk. They will either learn how to be faithful or how to make excuses by viewing my actions. My personal character will reflect in them one day soon as they grow through their teen years and into adulthood. I want to instill that character from which my future son-in-law, daughter-in-law, and grandchildren will benefit. Our children’s futures depend on our own present character.
Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise: Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler, Provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest. – Proverbs 6:6-8
by Tracie S. Burns
