Building Our Houses

Proverbs 14:1 – Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.

Several years ago, this verse really spoke to me. I was struggling with the emotions that came along with the revelation of how much my life had changed as a result of becoming a first-time mother. Suddenly, I was now responsible for not only myself and my husband but also the physical, spiritual, and emotional fulfillment of a small child who was far needier than I recalled any child I had ever babysat.

I realized, upon reading this verse, every time I spoke rashly or acted hastily as a result of my surging emotions, I was plucking my house down with my hands. No, there were no holes in the walls. The beds were still made, dishes were washed (or washing in the dishwasher), and the laundry was caught up (not really); but my family—the ones who made up my house—were suffering.

Wisdom is described in the Bible as fearing God. Fear means to reverence; to have a reverential awe; to venerate: [to regard with respect and reverence]. If I fear God, I will obey His commands. I will submit to my husband (Ephesians 5:22; Colossians 3:18), and I will teach and train my children in the way in which God would have them to be instructed (Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21).

With regard to training my children, they learn far more from watching me than they do from anything that I might say. Truly, I am fairly certain the glazed-over looks in their eyes after the first two and a half words I say do not indicate their enamored enthusiasm for what I am telling them to do. Frustration exhibited by me resulted in fits of tantrums from them. My displayed disagreements—not necessarily even arguments—resulted in their disregard for authority.

With all of this in mind, I am trying—sometimes with success and sometimes with the opposite of success—to be a wise woman. I want to build my house. I want to build my children and teach them that God loves them and has a purpose for their lives. I find Colossians 3:21 to be particularly interesting in that it states basically the same thing as Ephesians 6:4. It says, Fathers, provoke not your children to anger,… but then goes on to say, …lest they be discouraged. I do not want to discourage my children. This could cause them to choose to not get saved, not serve the Lord, or even do those things but with a wounded spirit that hinders them from being truly effective.

Proverbs 25:28 is a very familiar verse that says, He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls. There are so many things that we face in this world as temptation and as a direct onslaught of attack from Satan that there is no need for a Christian home to endure attack from within its walls from its own family members. If I cannot control my spirit, I am breaking down the walls of my home. The Devil will not need to beguile his way into my home. He will freely be able to walk in with no objection.

I know that I will always struggle with these things. I know that life will never be as immaculate as those episodes of “Leave It to Beaver” used to be. However, the fourteenth of every month, I know that Proverbs 14:1 is there in the Bible waiting for me. Whether I am reading in Proverbs that day or not, I know it is there; and I am reminded: “Am I building my house or am I plucking it down with my hands?”

by Bethany French

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