This is the time of year when Christians get to focus on and celebrate the birth of our Saviour, Jesus Christ. I know that we celebrate Him every day of the year, but this is the time of year that we set aside additional time to meditate and reflect on His birth and to rejoice in the fact that He was born to save us from our sins! Plus, the way He did this was so humbling and precious. It merits our setting aside a special day to celebrate and to commemorate His coming into this world.
However, we also use this occasion to give extra love and attention to our families and to spend time together; there is nothing wrong with this. I have fond memories of spending time with my husband and my daughters while gathering around the tree with our Bibles in hand and taking turns reading bits of the Christmas story from the book of Luke. I love the memories of each one of us choosing a verse from the passage and sharing why it touched our hearts in a particular way. Then, we prayed and thanked God for sending us the precious gift of His Son to be born to be our Saviour.
While these traditions are all well and good, this time of year can be especially difficult for those who have experienced the loss of a loved one through death. Their hearts may be breaking inside, and they just cannot fathom the thought of celebrating anything good. Sadly, this includes even the birth of our Saviour. This is where I found myself approximately five and a half years ago after the death of my husband. I did not want to participate much in anything festive, especially in opening gifts or going to special events. I just wanted to be alone with my grief and maybe just be with my family. Christmas did not feel like Christmas anymore, and it certainly was not as I remembered it.
I thank the Lord for my children and my church family! They knew just the right things to do to keep me from being overtaken with my grief. Their prayers and encouragement truly helped me get through the Christmas season with grace. I want to share a couple of thoughts from a sermon our pastor gave in December of 2016. It touched my heart and changed my outlook on the holidays. Although this time of year will never be the way it once was, these thoughts, in a way, have helped to stir my desire to celebrate Christmas.
Look past your feelings to the facts. Feelings change; the facts of the Christmas story do not. Our feelings are fickle things, and we should not allow ourselves to live our lives solely on what we feel. Our circumstances may not be ideal, and we may not always feel like celebrating at certain times in our lives. However, we should celebrate. The fact is that walking around in a grief-induced fog will not bring back our loved ones, no matter how much we want it to do so. I do not mean to be insensitive because grief has its place and is okay for a time, but the fact that we do not feel that Christmas is the same as it was before does not mean that we should not celebrate it.
The fact is that Jesus Christ still came to Earth! Born of a virgin, He lived a wonderful and sinless life just to die, to be buried, and to rise again, giving us the way of eternal life! His birth was not glamorous. It was not comfortable for Mary or Jesus. It seemed as though our Saviour did not arrive under the best of circumstances. I am sure Mary and Joseph would have preferred for Jesus to have been born in their home in Nazareth where they would have been surrounded by family and friends. Instead, He was born in a lowly stable and was laid in a bed of straw surrounded by smelly animals. Surely, Mary felt the absence of her mother during this time and wanted her by her side, but she was not. However, Mary did not let her feelings stop her from celebrating the birth of her Son and Saviour.
Take time to hurt. Ecclesiastes 3:4 says there is A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; It is okay to hurt during the holidays. Our loved ones deserve to be missed. It is okay to spend a few moments wishing they were here. It is okay to shed some tears. Tears help to cleanse our hearts from the pain that we feel. Go ahead and have those moments. We are allowed to do so. Jesus Himself wept when Lazarus died, so it is okay to feel the hurt and to miss our loved ones. However, we must not stay in that place of hurt. The birth of Jesus is something that our loved ones would want us to celebrate. Take time to remember how much they loved celebrating Jesus’ birth and spreading this joy with others. Do not push people away during this time. Let them share in the hurt and help us through it!
Make Christmas special for someone else. In Philippians 2:4, the Bible exhorts us to Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. This is especially important during the holiday season when we are hurting the most. Special acts of kindness to others go a long way to heal our own hurts and can mean so much to someone else going through a similar situation. As hard as it may be to put our own hurts aside, it is important to see past the hurt to find someone who needs a little help to get through the holiday season as well. One thing I learned from my husband is that giving to others during the holiday season makes whatever I am going through seem a little easier to handle. Does it erase the hurt in my heart completely? No, it does not; but it helps me to forget about my loss for a little while. I can help to put a smile on someone else’s face, which in turn puts a smile in my heart, even for just a moment.
There may be some reading this devotional whose hurt may not be as recent as the hurt others who have just gone through a difficult loss are experiencing, but the pain is still there. Please be mindful of these individuals at this time. Do not ignore them or assume that they want to be alone. Let us seek to encourage them through our prayers and through random acts of kindness. We can be the catalyst for others to have some joy restored to their holiday season. In return, that joy can overflow into our own lives so that we also can be blessed!
by April Hernandez
