In those precarious days of youth when everything seemed rather black and white, I expressed to my dad (also my pastor at the time) the frustration I felt toward those in our church who complained and shared their unwanted opinions but never seemed to show up when there was work to be done. They had lots of advice on how the church needed to be run or what the pastor and his family should do; however, they were rarely found at churchwide soulwinning. When volunteers were needed for a project or an event, they “had to work” or “had a family thing.” They avoided commitments that involved giving up their weekends and behaved as if their presence at church was a sacrifice for which the rest of the church should be grateful.
Dad’s soft reply showed his pastor’s heart, “Tracie, people will always do what they WANT to do. You can’t fix them, but you can love people where they are at.”
Of course, as a young person, this was not the answer I wanted to hear. In my mind, the complainers needed to be set straight! I was vehemently defensive of my parents because I knew how hard they worked. I saw their sacrifices for others, their toil in the ministry, and even their heartbreak of disappointment. I saw them pour endlessly into their church people, some of who never reciprocated but continued to take. While I mindfully did not want to become one of those jaded PKs who often wound up bitter and resentful, I saw nothing wrong with holding people to a standard of, at the least, caring enough to show up when they were needed for the people who had done so much for them.
In the decades since, God has taught me much compassion and patience. I have indeed learned to love people where they are at in life. Instead of trying to “fix” them, I have learn to pray for them and to speak words of encouragement instead. God has taught me (maybe with the help of my dad) to stand back and let people do what they want to do.
However, Dad’s words of wisdom have remained in my heart through the years. That phrase, “People do what they want to do,” makes me look inward these days. It forces me examine at my own motivations and my own priorities.
I recently read one of those proverbial Pinterest quotes that stated, “Instead of saying, ‘I don’t have time,’ try saying, ‘It’s not a priority.’ See how that feels.” Ouch!
While much can be said about prioritizing our time and wasting it unnecessarily, if that “thing” is important, we will make time for it. If going soulwinning is important, we will rearrange other things in our lives to go soulwinning. If being faithful to church matters, we will do what it takes to be in God’s house when the doors are open. If spending time with our kids is a priority, then we will stop doom scrolling, put our phones away, and focus on being present for them. If building a good marriage is significant to us, we will plan and create quality time to spend with our spouse. I heard a preacher once say, “We have the time for what we will make time for.”
I am convicted when I remember that the Bible is rather clear on how our actions, or inactions, reveal our hearts. What we do for others and for the Lord shows the true nature of who we are as Christians. Just a few verses after the famous “Lord’s Prayer” in Matthew 6, Jesus reminded the multitudes in verse 21, For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
Time is a treasure. When we waste money, we can always get more money; but when we waste time, we lose a part of our lives we can never get back. Time is indeed the most valuable commodity we own. Every day is a gift from God. Each moment is a treasure to be used wisely.
While my dad was right that we cannot fix people, we are indeed responsible for ourselves. We have plenty of time to spend on what matters most to us. How we spend our time reveals the condition of our hearts.
We all have time. How will you spend yours?
by Tracie S. Burns